His flat was so modern and interiors were mind blowing. But you can find the signs of bachelor living here and there. I liked the place, but loved it for one and only one reason - he was living there. Anywhere with him would be the best place I suppose. I was wet and water was dripping from my Salwar. I then realised that his car seat would have gone wet too. If it had been my dad, he would have been mourning the whole night. But this guy did not even react. He noticed that I was soaked up and let me use the facility to freshen up. Alas! I did not had any changing clothes. So he offered me his loungewear. I was feeling shy to wear it. But I started to feel insane as soon as I had his clothes on. I felt like I was hugging him nice and tight. All the hormones started to rumble from within. My breathe was heavier and my legs felt light. My hands started to embrace myself and was already floating. This magical feeling stopped suddenly, when I realised that he was waiting outside in the lounge.
I went out to the lounge. He was looking me up and down and I was feeling shy. I couldn't look at him. My fingers started to squeeze each other. But then he laughed so hard and said, "you look like a zombie in a baggy". Ya right. That was very romantic. I know my eyes are droopy, carry huge bags under my eye, my gloss was all gone, my make up was not on, my hair is out of style and on top of it, this shabby baggy pyjamas. Of course I looked like a zombie and no way closer to be being seductive.
He offered me dinner and kept laughing at me now and then. He was hopeless. I felt like spending the night with a nine year old kid.
"Shall we watch a movie?", he asked.
Well that's a good start. "Sure"
"Here comes the movie", and he sat next to me.
That looked like a familiar movie. DISASTER!!! He was playing Jurassic Park. Unbelievable!?
"I loved this movie ever since my childhood. I love watching it over and over. I love dinosaurs too"
'Ya they are already extinct and you are the last one of your type', I thought.
He was talking about that movie making, types of dinosaurs and other topics irrelevant to the night. But nothing got into my head. The magical delusion that I experienced just before, started to cuddle me again. His shoulder was rubbing me as he dramatically waved his hands on the air while talking. I felt little dizzy and laid my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and stayed still. Dinosaur roars stopped suddenly. I guess he switched off the TV. But I did not react. He gently patted on my cheek, to wake me up. But I did not respond. I was waiting to see what he was about to do next. Still, I didn't open my eyes. He softly carried me in his arms and laid me down on the bed. I opened my eyes, and got hold of his collars. I pulled him towards me and he fell over me. He looked at me with no clue. He tried to move away from me, but I threw my arms around his neck and held him tightly. We looked at each other for a couple of minutes. We were as much closer as possible. A lustful spark, set fire to all the hormones and we played the game. I knew what I was doing. I tempted him, seduced him and literally forced him. I wanted that to happen, that night, for I knew it would never ever happen again.
I did not sleep the whole night. He was lying by my side sound asleep, and I was simply admiring him, even in the dimmest night lamp. He was the most wonderful man. I felt my love was complete and I did justice to that. I wanted to tell him how much I love him, but never I am going talk about that. I lived a whole night with him. That was already handful to me and the happiness was too heavy to carry in heart.
After that night, every day was like a dream with him. He started to show more concerns and affection towards me. Overnight, I got promoted from being a friend to girlfriend. You can never find such an innocent fellow. Very pure and modest. Original piece!!! But I knew, everything won't make any sense in the future. He wanted to take our relationship to the next level. He wanted to marry me and start a family. I wished too. But I did not agree.
After a couple of weeks' romance, I was returning home by train. I have vacated my hostel room. I have taken a long leave. But I never told him anything and I left without informing him. I neither informed my parents that I am returning home. I love sitting on the window seat in a train and watch the world pass by quickly. I wanted to do that for one last time. I got my stomach pain back and now I took double dose of painkillers. Doctor advised me to get admitted as soon as possible but I knew it would be in vain. Instead of wasting my last few days in the hospital, I thought I would spend my precious little time with my parents. I was diagnosed with Peritonitis. The Doctors found this, when I fell sick in the US. I did not had the guts to tell this to my parents. I know they would be devastated. I can't see them like that and to hide away the truth from them, I hid myself. I told none about this. The long awaited miserable phase of my life had finally arrived. But the unexpected pleasant surprise was the love phase. Falling in love was the most cryptical, unfathomable feeling. And to find your love being reciprocated is incomprehensible. I know he will get to know when I am gone, and he will be shattered for the second time. But this time, I believe that he would pick himself up and get composed soon.
"Reshu", my mom came running to the front gate when I reached home. Her face was full of smiles. She wasn't expecting me and she would have never expected, what was about to happen. For next few days, my parents kept celebrating me. I ignored visiting them since I went to Bangalore. I spoke lesser and lesser over the phone as well. So they were happy to see an 'old' me. Still, my mom felt something strange with me. She kept asking me to go to Doctors with her. I managed to convince her that it was because of my work pressure and issues with the project. Meanwhile, I kept receiving messages from him as well. He was mad at me that, I never told him before I left. Silly boy of mine! He did not had the clue that I am going to leave him forever.
Today, I think is the day. I was feeling nervous and restless. I looked dull. My dad took a day off his work. They were trying hard to convince me, to see a Doctor. But I know it's not going to do any good. Just before lunch, I came to my room to lie down for a bit. My mom told me that she will cook all my favourites for lunch. I was listening to all the sounds of the world. I started to feel that I won't be hearing them again. I was listening to my parents' conversation. They were planning to buy some gold jewellery that evening.
My mom came to my room and said, "Reshu, lunch is ready. Get Up". I opened my eyes, looked at her for one last time and closed them. "Poor girl she is so tired", she said and went away. I can feel my soul is slowly detaching. All the noises started to fade away. My breathe is much slower. My hands and legs have gone numb.
My life quickly flashed through. My mom, dad, house, my friends, my love - everyone and everything came in a sequence. People say, everyone will regret for one thing or the other, when they are on their deathbed. But honestly, I don't have any regrets. I have lived my life as a daughter, student, friend, lover and wife too. God always takes back his beloved people on earth sooner. I am happy that I am god's most beloved child. Good Bye!
No comments:
Post a Comment